Dear You!

Its been a while since I wrote to you. I was just thinking lately of writing something about the question which almost all of us have been asked in some or the other way by different people for different reasons i.e Why aren't you in relationship? Are you still single? If yes then why? And most of us , including you and me have answered by saying that we want to focus on our careers or that in the past we have been heartbroken so we dont believe in relationships anymore, etc and etc.

But tell me, is being in relationship or not being in one needs to be justified with only these types of cliched answers? Don't we have a choice to make , especially the women out here who are brought up with the thought of being weak and vulnerable and that our safety and honour is assured only when tied with a man, whether we want to remain alone or be with  a romantic partner? As soon as a woman reaches her first quarter of her age, she is bombarded with questions of marriage and relationships. She is told that now is the time and that you must settle with a man who will love and protect you. Really? Is it?

Today i want to ask you about it...do you really think that one should get into a relationship just for the sake of being in one? Or marriage and relationships are bounded by the age factor? Isn't it supposed to be a matter of our own choice and our own reasons.

So let me tell you about my own reasons for not dating somebody and not getting into a relationship with someone else. First of all I will clear the air that its not about my career or family reasons or a heartbreak that almost crushed my heart but couldn't break it( because hearts dont break, they get bruised and become better and stronger) . However, there are few reasons which I am sure you'll be able to relate and next time when people ask you this question,you'll  be able to answer them well and with confidence.

1) I Want To Make My Own Decisions -and till the time I dont find a guy who respects my self being and existence, stands by my choices if I'm right and guides me when I'm wrong instead of making issues, I want to remain single.

2) I Want To Explore Myself More - so that I'm clear in my head what i want and what i dont want from my relationship.

3) Long Lasting Relationship - I would want to make a life long commitment and sometimes being hasty in getting into relationships lands u up in heartbreaks and disappointments.

4) Organic Love- sometimes we end up experimenting with different people and dates hopin we would make a connection with one of them. But its also a fact that things are best when they happen organically. Sometimes the best love stories are formed on the foundation of best friendships which are least expected.

5) Love Freely - love is supposed to be free, its not something which must be done out of duty or formality because that is the surest way to kill it. And love is independent of relationships. When two people are in love, dating them or not hardly makes a difference.

6) Relationships Require Hardwork- a lot of compromises, sacrifices, energy and time is required to be put into a relationship and the result might not always be rewarding . So its better to wait for the one who reciprocates to your level of love and intensity.

7) Secured Partner- most importantly relationships are about equal partnerships dependent on mutual love and respect. Its not about one person becoming addicted and totally dependent on the other. Both the partners must be secured and sufficient in themselves and relationship must be able to uplift their lives rather than draining them of their energies.

Romantic relationships are beautiful and can prove to be one of the greatest parts of our lives but one must remember that this is not the only way one can experience greatness in life. Being in love, getting into relationships must be solely based on our choices and nothing else.

Signing off...till then keep smiling and have a great time.
Love,
Nidhi.